Gifting Guidelines

We are frequently asked about gift giving and what is appropriate (required). Here are some guidelines we suggest for our brides and their mothers.

Engagement Parties – No gift required. That’s because engagements used to be surprise announcements rather than planned parties. Close friends and family may give presents if they choose. Since not everyone will bring a gift, any packages that come should be opened after – not during the party.

Bachelorette Parties – No gift required. Female attendants and close friends typically chip in to cover the bride’s expenses for the fun night out. Those invited should ask the hostess how they might contribute.

Showers - Gift required if you attend; no gift required if you don’t. However, close friends and relatives may still opt to give a gift. The best plan is to send it in advance to the home of the shower host/hostess who can give it to the bride at the shower. Ask the host/hostess where the bride is registered, if there is a theme to the shower or if there is anything in particular that the bride would like. Spend less than you would on a wedding gift.

Wedding –Gift required for sure if you attend. If you do not attend, the question to gift or not depends on the “expert” you consult. Most would agree with this solution. If you are friends with the couple, it is appropriate to give a modest gift when you decline. If you do decide to gift the couple, send the item to them ahead of time so they don’t have to lug it home from the reception. Base your spending decisions on local customs and how well you know the couple.

Second wedding –No gift required especially if you attended the first wedding and gave a present. Close friends and family members may choose to buy a gift for the couple especially if it is a first wedding for either the bride or the groom. Most couples in second marriages will make it known that they prefer no gifts and may even include that message on informal party or reception invitations sent to guests following a small, family only ceremony.

Please let us know if you have other questions about gifting.

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