We sell a lot of dresses for girls wanting a destination wedding…often before they have the venue secured. I am always asking about the ambiance they are hoping to achieve and most of the time the descriptions they offer are those touted in the movies or in a bridal magazine. Thus, somewhat unrealistic.
That isn’t to say that a beach wedding can’t be wonderful, but most brides have never been to one when they make that decision. The reality is this: having a wedding on a beach has very little in common with more traditional weddings inside churches or ballrooms.
Here are some things to consider when planning your wedding on a beach. I will identify the problem and offer a solution.
Problem #1: It will be windy….very windy.
Solution: Don’t wear your hair down. You will have it blowing across your face all through the vows and the photo shoot. By the same token, don’t wear it so lacquered down that it looks like it won’t move.
Problem #2: If you’re walking in sand you cannot wear heels.
Solution: Have your dress hemmed two inches shorter than normal and you will be able to make your entrance without having to carry your dress the entire way. Also it will be the correct length for pictures of you standing in grass without it buckling at the bottom.
Problem #3: The waves crashing will drown your voices and the guests will simply be staring at you but not hearing any of the vows.
Solution: Pony up for a lavaliere microphone. Have one on the minister and one on the groom. (But don’t clip the groom’s onto the placket of his shirt. It will show badly in pictures. Use the same lapel as his boutonniere.) Keep the speakers off of high stands so as make it look as “un-tech” as possible in pictures.
Problem #4: The beaches are seldom shut down for your wedding. Tourists LOVE watching weddings. They might be in your pictures.
Solution: Consider a place that is not SO visible at the resort. Or choose an evening time slot hoping that most tourists have gone to dinner.
Problem #5: Traditional church music doesn’t work for a beach setting. There is no realistic way a pipe organ could be outside.
Solution: Choose pieces that are done with instruments that could have been transported: guitar, violins, flute, harp or even ukuleles. Even if it’s produced with a DJ, the music will be in harmony with the setting.
Problem #6: Outdoors is always VERY casual. Thus expect a lot of milling around and talking throughout the ceremony. There is very little structure...because you are not in a structure.
Solution: Give the guests a program to read once they are seated. Have prelude music for them to enjoy. Keep it moving, so they don’t get bored with delays or gaps. Keep it short….20 minutes is about all you can expect people to sit in hot sun. On the program, outline the Agenda for the day: Ceremony, Post-ceremony toast, photo shoot, cocktail hour, dinner, dancing. Give them times. That way they can stay “engaged” in the celebration and not be itching to get back to their swim-up bar.
Problem #7: People do not know what to wear for a beach wedding. It causes them stress.
Solution: Spell it out on the invitation i.e. “Long pants and open neck shirts for the men. Sundresses and sandals for the ladies.” For the bridal party: be sure that they are all exactly the same i.e.) barefoot for all or shoes for all. Sleeves rolled up or down on the guys. Belts? No belts? Shirts tucked in? Or out? Absolutely no sunglasses in pictures on family or bridal party. It’s still a wedding!
Attached to this post is a video clip from a wedding I observed last week while in Jamaica. I got acquainted with one of the resort coordinators and by a fluke visited with both the bride and groom before they were “on” for the wedding. Taylor and Jared are from Colorado. Never been to Jamaica and never attended a beach wedding. A few things to note: this was shot from my cell phone, so it's raw. And very real. Note the wind, crashing waves and sand. It's the real deal, and not far from what you'll find at any beach wedding venue.
One of the things that was upsetting was that rather than submit their song requests to the coordinator two months in advance as requested, they insisted on bringing their own CD…and then brought the wrong one. The ceremony was delayed 20 minutes (hot sun) while the DJ improvised replacement selections. Meanwhile, the bride waited impatiently on a golf cart, out of sight. The moms both wore long dresses which gave them fits when walking. The minster’s opening words spoke of “the last steps you’ll ever enjoy as a single person. After this every step you will ever take for the rest of your life will be those of a married person.” (How uplifting.)
When the ceremony concluded, the couple just walked to the back of the short aisle and stood there. Some champagne was brought to the guests and then eventually everyone disappeared. The reception was about 4 hours later (the deadly gap) and at different points in the day, I saw this bridal party walking around being photographed in various poses. It seemed like the entire day was no more than an extended photo shoot. By reception time, everyone was sweaty, wrinkled and ready to get out of their wedding clothes. The bride and bridesmaids hung around one of the pools drinking from the bar and the guys were sitting in the shade doing the same thing.
It seemed the day could have gone so much better had they only “tightened up” the agenda and either decided to keep it formal or casual. This blend of “Canon in D” for the recessional and then hanging out at the pool bar seemed incongruous.
I wondered several times if “this” was what the Taylor had envisioned from Colorado as she surfed web sites and pinned Pinterest images of beach weddings. I personally urge my brides to “live in the authentic moment” and don’t worry about the pictures. The best pictures are those that are not orchestrated and involving props. I think it’s important to remember the feeling of being married and not worried about getting “Pinterest caliber” pictures of “getting married.”
For a beach wedding, adopt the Jamaican expression…."Everything’s going to be alright. No problem mon!"
Michael Nolte
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