Invitation Etiquette

Our invitation specialists help brides create the wedding invitation of their dreams.  They know that the invitation sets the tone for the wedding it announces and as such is an early indicator for the guests as to the type of celebration to which they are invited.  Our experts field all sorts of questions and are knowledgeable about the various paper styles, font types and wording variations that brides are seeking.  They are also asked about the appropriateness of certain wording choices.  We know that more and more brides are making selections that blend the historically formal with the contemporary feel of today’s preferences.  However, the rule of good taste does still have punch and invitation specialists are being asked if it is ok to ask for gifts of money on the wedding invitation.  The answer is a clear and consistent NO!

There is no socially acceptable or tactful way to include in invitation copy the fact that the couple would prefer cash in place of gifts.

This situation is more likely to occur with a couple in their late 20s or early 30s who have been living together for some time prior to the wedding.  They tend to have all household necessities and are not inclined to establish a traditional gift registry.  They may be planning to buy a house and would prefer cash gifts.  This is a worthy preference but the invitation is not the place to spread the word.  For that they need to rely on word of mouth.  The couple needs to tell their parents, friends, and members of the wedding that when asked about gift preferences, cash is the couple’s preference.  But as Emily Post reminds us, “There is no dictating to guests what they must give; it’s their prerogative to choose.” 

Our consultants recommend that if you are asked directly what you want for a wedding gift, be polite and say, “We’re saving for a down payment on a house, so if you’d like to give a check, that’s how we would use it.  But whatever you decide will be terrific.  Thank you for thinking of us.”

Not everyone is comfortable giving cash.  They don’t like giving money.  They prefer a tangible gift.  And that is terrific.  And because there are guests with this preference, we suggest that brides set up a traditional gift registry too to accommodate the guest who prefers to give a gift other than cash.