Wedding Guests

We are frequently asked about the “rules” governing pre ceremony activities.  Our experience often prompts us to suggest that brides ignore traditional seating etiquette when it doesn’t suit their particular situation. 

For instance, it is not necessary to seat all of the bride’s friends on the left side of the church and all of the groom’s friends on the right.  If the groom lives far from the bride’s hometown, it is likely that more of her friends will attend the ceremony than his.  To give a more balanced look to the church, simply advise ushers in advance to ask guests if they mind sitting on the side of the church where there is more room.  The parents of the couple should sit on their respective sides, but in some situations it simply makes sense to mingle the guests.  Guest who are friends and family should be very comfortable following such usher requests.

We also offer additional advice to those who will be guests at weddings this season.  Courtesy and consideration are in order toward the couple and their families who have chosen to include you in this very important day.  To be a considerate guest, we recommend the following:

• Arrive at the church at least 20 minutes before the ceremony – or 30-40 minutes if it is a big wedding.
• Should you arrive unavoidably late, do not expect to be seated by an usher.  Slip quietly into the church and stand at the back if sitting down would cause any disturbance at all.  Strive to be unobtrusive and very quiet.
• You may bring your wraps into the church with you but children only if they have been invited.
• Dress appropriately.
• Know that if you receive an invitation to the wedding and the reception, you must reply to that invitation as soon as possible. Etiquette says that no reply is necessary to a wedding invitation in a church unless you receive an invitation to a reception.  However, if a pew card is included with your invitation you must reply to both the ceremony and the reception.  The couple must know if that pew will be occupied.  Failure to respond to a reception invitation is unacceptable and in bad taste so make it your practice to always respond to any invitation received.